areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
