Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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