In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
