Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
