The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
