yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
