All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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