My nipple is on Facebook.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
