Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
