I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize