your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
