its not stalking. its research.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
