my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
