i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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