I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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