people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
