i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
