Buhtt sex?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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