Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
