I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
