its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
