He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
