i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
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