I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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