Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
