This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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