have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
