I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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