I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
