I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
