Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
