I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
