fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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