Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
