I think im going to throw up on grandma
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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