Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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