I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
