you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize