I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
