i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
