i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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