I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
