I saw his package. It spoke to me.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
