You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
