I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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