Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
