Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
My vagina is officially offended.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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