i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
