Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
