Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
