So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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