Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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