so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
