I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
