Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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