I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
