And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I think i got beer on your cat.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
