that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
