come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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