you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I understand Curling. That high.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
