Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
