He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
