We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Randomize
