i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
