Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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