is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
she pinky promised me she was 18
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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