Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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