He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
