Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
