3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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