Too much gin, very little bucket
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
