Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
