I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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