I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
