capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
lets start a swedish sibling band together
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize
