did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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