My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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