and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize