Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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